so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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