I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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