covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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