I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize