So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
no you cant smoke seaweed
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Are we still banned from the library?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
