I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
