i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I deserve this hangover.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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