dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
