i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
