Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
