Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
