Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
