u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
What a fucking waste of an outfit
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
