Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
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