yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
