OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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