Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
