he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize