he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
