My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
