so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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