so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
