Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
