he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
