your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She announced her abortion via fbk
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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