The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
