ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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