How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
