actually, I'm a sock model
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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