I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
