You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
