So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
