Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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