if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
