Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
