He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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