just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
