There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
