he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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