I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
