Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
