Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize