oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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