Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
