My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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