One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
