Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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