...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
