What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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