It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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