dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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