It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Someone came in the potted fern
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
