I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
