My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
