Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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