We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
