Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.

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(818): View more from California

WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

Haha how do you remember that?

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

HOW COULD I FORGET?!

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(904): View more from Florida

We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple

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(513): View more from Ohio

successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here

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(865): View more from Tennessee

What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?

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(941): View more from Florida

Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.

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