Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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