We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
