Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
