this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
