Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
