No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
