i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
